January 24, 2026 In a city of 8 million people, I constantly hear the same complaint from my clients: "Liv, there are no good options left." As a matchmaker in New York, I have a front-row seat to the most competitive dating market in the world. When a client tells me the "well is dry," I don’t look at the market—I look at their filter. If you are consistently hitting a wall in your dating life, it’s time to talk about the "High-Value Reset."
The "Type" Trap
We all have a "type." Maybe it’s the brooding finance executive with a penchant for late-night steaks at Keens, or the creative entrepreneur who lives in a minimalist loft in DUMBO. Having preferences is healthy, but having a rigid blueprint is a death sentence for your dating life.
When you shop for a partner like you’re scrolling through a luxury catalog, you prioritize aesthetic and status over compatibility and character. I’ve seen clients pass on incredible matches because they didn’t hit a specific height requirement or went to the "wrong" school.
The Spark Reality Check: Chemistry isn’t a lightning bolt that hits you in the first five seconds of a coffee date. Real chemistry is a slow burn that ignites when two people’s values align.
The 3-Date Rule
One of the core pillars of my matchmaking philosophy is the Three-Date Rule. In the age of instant gratification and "swipe culture," we’ve lost the art of the build-up.
Unless there is a glaring red flag, you owe it to yourself to go on three dates.
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Date 1: Is for nerves.
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Date 2: Is for personality.
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Date 3: Is for potential.
Most people cut the cord after Date 1 because they didn’t feel an immediate "spark." But remember: that "spark" is often just anxiety or the familiarity of a toxic pattern. Give a slow-burn connection the room it needs to breathe.
Audit Your Energy
Are you dating from a place of abundance or a place of lack? If you walk into a bar or a lounge carrying the weight of your past three "situationships," people will feel that heavy energy.
Select Your Borough and GO!
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