November 6, 2026 NEW YORK, FUCKING NEW YORK Alright New York, you already know what I'm ranting about! I am on the bus riding downtown and there he is: Mr. Earbud Shouter. Loud, like he's the only one in the world and no one else exists. He is so far out of reality that he can't even fathom the fact that he might be disturbing people around him. His voice is just piercing through the air, infiltrating everyone's eardrums and playing them like a heavy metal drummer on speed.
I mean, seriously, does the whole world need to know your business? Who the hell cares about what you watched on Netflix last night or what you ate for dinner? No one cares about your drama with your neighbor. Though what did pique my curiosity for a moment was hearing Mr. Earbud Shouter complain about noise coming from his neighbor's apartment. The fact that he is complaining about noise is comical—literally hilarious—considering he's holding an entire city bus hostage.
At this point, I’m halfway to my destination, the bus is packed, Mr. Earbud Shouter is still going, and I can see several other riders reaching their limit. I am ready to say something—and just as I'm about to step up, the Full Volume TikTok Watcher gets on board.
A young woman, definitely a millennial, no earbuds, stands right over Mr. Earbud Shouter with her phone blaring at max volume. What are the fucking odds? One guy yapping his head off on a call, and a woman blasting TikTok next to him.
Now I'm almost at my stop, and I can see Mr. Earbud Shouter is getting a little perturbed.
"Hold on one second," he tells whoever he’s talking to. He looks up at Full Volume TikTok Watcher. "You wanna lower that? I'm on the phone."
"Like you should fucking talk! You've been going on since 125th Street!" someone shouts from the back of the bus.
